I Know That I Know: God Wants to be Found
Author: Jenna Anderson | @mrsjenna_anderson
Having followed after Jesus for 32 years I am still surprised by His ways, His mercies, and the twists and turns of His plans. There have been so many moments where I sit in awe of His goodness as I’ve watched His plans unfold overflowing with blessings. But then, there are plenty of other times where the fog descends, confusion overwhelms, the mysteries of I AM leave me heart sick and heavy. Through it all, I have felt and seen and experienced a truth that anchors me in stormy days and sunshine shafts the same.
I know that I know, God wants to be found.
Most days He is nearer than I realize. Not tapping His foot as I once suspected but rather patiently available no matter my state. If I’m honest I can sense His deep call to the deep in me even when I turn away or distract myself from His nearness. He is near and He wants to be found.
This beautiful dance of searching and finding is a sacred story to be told. Our relationship with the Almighty holds rhythms of profound encounters mixed right alongside complete and utter confusion. Where was He when…? What is He leading me into? Why can’t I hear Him or feel Him or find Him now? I’ve thought many times that walking with Jesus is not for the faint of heart, but then again, maybe that is the very heart it’s all for.
Every day I need Him. Every hour I need Him. Whether I’m hurting and lost or joyfully victorious He has become the truest pursuit of this broken heart of mine. He is and has and will always be enough for me. His heart is not mysteriously cruel as He sometimes seems to hide away. He is near, aching to be found. His gentle call to weary hearts today is to lean in.
Yes, God is beyond searching out. His ways beyond our understanding, His thoughts towards us more numerous than grains of sand. Whether we see it or not, His gaze is set on us. His heart attentive to the slightest turn towards Him. We are created to be loved by Him and He waits at the ready in every season to comfort, love, direct, bring peace, to powerfully be near. Afterall, He is Immanuel, God with Us, and He wants us to know it.
God wants to be found.
I have found Him unexpectedly in the mind-numbing monotony of life. With a whispered, desperate prayer over one more sink full of dishes I have been overcome with a sense of His unending love. Holy moments have invaded my walk to the rubbish with a dirty diaper in hand. I’ll catch a glimpse of His creation and feel an urge in my heart of just how close He really is. He’s there-turning my monotony into faithfulness and breathing on simple moments to make them sacred. As we turn our attention towards Jesus, He is faithful to bring the very life and hope and peace that we need most, right when we need it. He is findable in ordinary happenings and calls us still, lean in closer.
I have found God richly and outrageously in the middle of my victories too. On my wedding day I cried not just for joy but because my life and our story were infused with the echoes of God’s faithfulness to get us there. A day I had dreamed of for so long was marked by God’s presence as we delighted in the ways He had surprised us both with true love. When my babies were born, I sensed Jesus intimately close. As miraculous life literally invaded our moments with His masterful creation, I found Him there. Jesus is close at-hand on our mountain tops. When dreams are revealed, and everything is beautifully aligned He is ready to party alongside us if we’ll look for Him there.
Jesus also wants to be found even deeper and nearer in the gut wrench of loss. His comfort beckons us. His peace overwhelms unexpectedly. He alone has the tender words of life that can shift the tide of our broken hearts. He wants to be found in these sacred spaces too. Not with answers or lessons or pity. He wants to be found so He can simply be near. To envelope our shattered lives with His enough-ness on days where we have nothing left. When heartache and numbness threaten our search of Him, He is gracious and patient and closer still.
I found Him in the suburbs of Beaverton, OR as a child. Jesus drew my heart to himself and taught me how to hear His gentle whispers. In a childlike pursuit, I found Him.
I found Him in chaotic college dorms were prayers were frantically scribbled in journals over the ruckus of freshmen antics. He met me in my fear and homesickness and steadied me there.
I have found Him in the midst of breathtaking nature as the trees swayed and oceans roared. Jesus spoke dreams to my heart there that shaped my future and challenged my faith.
I have found Him in lonely, distant villages in raw encounters where nothing felt familiar and hope was deferred. Jesus saw me and let me find Him around every unexpected corner.
I could go on endlessly of my pursuits to find Him. I believe it with all of my heart; God wants to be found. He wants to wriggle His way tenderly into the broken and hurting places, the strong and soaring places. He is there. God wants to be found in loneliness, in our questions, in triumph, and doubts, and joys all the same.
I don’t know where you are today, but I know Jesus is near. God’s ways mysterious, yes. But He is findable, always. Turn your heart a little or a lot towards Jesus today and you WILL find Him. He is closer than you think just watching for your slightest attention, just waiting to be found.