Transparent Tuesday #2: Catch the Little Lies

Author: Bo Stern | | @bolovesjoe

Since I was little, I have hated getting in trouble.  H A T E it.  My fear of being in trouble translated into doing just about anything to get out of it: including blaming someone or something else.  At first it was hard, but then my brain got good at figuring out how to wiggle out of tough situations by stretching, suppressing or contorting the truth.  

Fast forward to young grownup me, longing to be authentic and honest, but still hating friction in relationships and also just really liking being liked and liking looking good and liking being admired.  It’s so hard to be real when tiny lies offer an easy escape into a better more beautiful you. Or a not-in-trouble-you.  Or an avoid-confrontation you.  

It took a lot of really hard circumstances and a great quantities of the love and grace of Jesus to free me into my most honest self; the self that doesn’t move the needle one direction or another to suit her circumstances, that reveals the hard and humbling things, and that knows the little lies are as dangerous as the big ones. What I’ve discovered?  People like honesty. They respect it.  And honesty frees me from worrying about the cheap seats.  It’s been a great gift and I believe it’s an essential step toward transparent living. 

So, how does this look in the everyday?  Well, I think it starts with a relentless interior inventory of our motives.  As we look at the reasons we say what we say, or post what we post, we’ll start to get a clearer picture of how easily and often we slip into the little lies that produce a fake and faulty payoff.  All these methods we use to baloney our way through life pile up and knit a thick sweater around our true selves - keeping us suffocating beneath the weight of the facade we’ve built.  

It happens every time I make up an excuse for being late, when really I just took too long.  It happens when I imply my relationships are stronger than they are.  It happens when I curate my social media feed to create an airbrushed life. If you’re ready to step into truly transparent living, start now - this very day -  to catch your little lies and give them no room to breathe.  Demand honesty from yourself at least as much as you want it from your closest friends.  This, my friends, is the beginning of true freedom. 

With hope, 


Whitney Parnell1 Comment